How I would have ended the Harry Potter series, because I am a very bad person

Then Hermione handed the book to Harry. "The Bible?" he asked, puzzled.
"It's the only perfect book, Harry. A complete handbook for life," she answered.
Harry opened the pages and read for a moment. Then he stopped and looked Hermione right in the eyes. "You're right," he said. "This magic stuff is all washed up."
"Harry," Hermione asked, "won't you make a commitment to Christ?"
"You mean---my personal Lord and Saviour?" Harry smiled. "Absolutely. But let's do it up right. Isn't there a Baptist Church up the street with a full immersion baptismal pool?"
Hermione nodded. She couldn't wait to tell the Hogwarts for Christ prayer team.

8 comments:

Jeff Miller said...

And then Harry starts to campaign against Wizard Assisted Suicide to make up for Dumbledore's falling.

Special K said...

On the way to the Baptist church, they meet a Dominican in front of the Catholic church. Impressed by his wizardesque robes and rosary, they begin speaking with him. At last they learned the true meaning of committing to Christ and ask the good Father to be baptized and confirmed as Catholics.

Zorak the Mantis said...

Yes I know Padre. I am just making fun of all the evangelicals who have disparaged the series. It certainly would get their goat if Harry became a fundie.

Jane said...

Gah. That would have been much more entertaining than the way Rowling actually did end the series.

Cacciaguida said...

Nice Anonymity Cloak, Special K! And glad you picked up on the "wizardesque robes" thing. I mean, don't we sometimes feel, as Catholics, that we are in a parallel world that's much more interesting, and with much higher stakes, than the one most people see?

Big difference is, we're trying to tell people about it, while the wizards have a Statute of Secrecy.

I'm sure, too, that there's a rich vein of Ministry of Magic/USCCB parallels to be explored. I've met Umbridge in several parishes, as either DRE or "music minister"....

Jane said...

Cacciaguda, I was amused by the first part of your comment, and almost fell out of my chair laughing at the last part. It's so true.

Elinor Dashwood said...

It certainly would get their goat if Harry became a fundie.


Actually, I think they'd love it. They would really be torqued if the wizards all became Catholics.

Which reminds me - Arthur Weasley meets Muggles more often than most wizards, and he has seven children. It's inconceivable that nobody has ever asked him if he's a Catholic. Being what he is he'd be fascinated and want to learn all about it, and the end of that would be a foregone conclusion. It's just one more instance of the way the books' many flaws tell us a lot more about Rowling than she might be pleased for us to know.

Bernard Brandt said...

True, you are a very bad person. Thank you for sharing.

And, speaking of very bad persons, how is your husband doing, and when will he be returning to (we)blogging? I miss his mordant wit.