elrond
Congratulations! You're Elrond!
Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
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O.O., high on an entire bag of peanut butter Chex Mix, says, "When my Love Hindenburg crashes into you, my Love Hindenburg says, 'Oh, the humanity!'"
Yahoo! News - Fire Hazardous Menorahs Recalled - Agency
Yahoo! News - A World Drinking Record: "Latvian police said a drunk picked up with around twice the blood-alcohol level considered deadly had probably set a world record but would wake with a hangover to match.
The unidentified middle-aged man was unconscious but stable after a blood test showed 7.22 parts per million of alcohol, police spokeswoman Ieva Zvidre said."

Zorak's highest recorded level was 3.3, tested 4 hours after I stopped drinking. That was pretty rough.
O.O. says, "You know how everyone was talking about domestic preparedness a little while ago?"
Zorak: "Yeah?"
O.O.: "And they wanted everyone to cover their windows in plastic?"
Zorak: "Yeah?"
O.O.: "Well, you see how easily air from the kitchen in the apartment below us gets in here."
Zorak: "Yeah?"
O.O.: "Well, what would you think of me pulling out the stove, to see where - "
Zorak: "No."
Pentagon Probes Mobile Phone Tenders in Iraq - Mmm, mobile phone tenders!
O.O. says, "You're like an animal who, when it gets let out of the house, doesn't just wait in the front yard. Instead, you take off running around the neighborhood."
Pope Likes Mel Gibson's Film on Christ's Passion

My life is rated R.
What is your life rated?

Beat THIS, Fr. Bryce! -

Head Lice Games

Results...

statler jpeg
You are Statler or Waldorf.
You have a high opinion of yourself, as do others.
But only because you are in the balcony seats.

ALSO KNOWN AS:
Those two old guys in the box.
SPECIAL TALENTS:
Heckling, complaining, being cantankerous

QUOTE:
"Get off the stage, you bum!"

LAST BOOKS READ:
"The Art of Insult" and "How To
Insult Art"

NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT:
Their pacemakers.


What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
casablanca
"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.


What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
The Views of American Catholics and Opinion Leaders on Issues Regarding the Catholic Church funded by Geoffrey Boisi.
abortion numbers: "Multiple abortions are the norm, not the exception. According to the survey, where the 'number of previous abortions was adequately reported,' 53 percent of women had an abortion for the first time in 2000. That means 47 percent of women having abortions in 2000 were not having their first abortion. How many abortions do women have? The survey breaks it down by state, but stops counting at 'three or more previous legal induced abortions.' In 2000, Maryland had the highest percentage of women having their fourth (or more) abortion: 16.7 percent. New York City had the second highest ratio, with 14.7 percent of women having at least their fourth abortion in 2000."
Songs the Old Oligarch has been singing around the house lately:
Beatrix Potter, "Here Comes Peter Cottontail"
Depeche Mode, "Fly on the Windscreen"
Public Enemy, "Move!"
Dusty Springfield, "Son of a Preacher Man"
Erasure, "A Little Respect"
O.O. says, "My birthstone looks like crystallized monkey piss."
Man Gets More Than Phone Cut Off After Mix-Up: "Callers to [a local radio] station, reacting to the news, offered helpful hints to wayward husbands such as never sleeping on their backs and always keeping mobile phones tucked under the pillow."

Yeah, sleeping on your belly to ensure your spouse doesn't cut off your genitals. What a sound, deep sleep that must be.
His power was running low ...
Meet the Greedy Grandparents - Why America's elderly are so spoiled. By Steve Chapman

My immune system rejected this article.

Panel calls for neutral bathrooms. But the Rat will like it. I know she will!!!!
It notes that the University of Chicago held a panel discussion on the fact that men and women use separate bathrooms. One of the panelists is "involved with ongoing anecdotal research on gender iniquities in bathroom allotments."
I'm hoping they meant inequities. I think.

The Texas Construction Boycott of Planned Barrenhood has a Website:

Boycott Planned Parenthood in Austin, Texas - Home
"This is the dawning of the age of my stretching-ness." O.O., on the Bowflex.
"Harness the mind! Turn that energy into a laser beam of dialectical power!" O.O., attempting to motivate himself.

People are SO RUDE!

I pick up the phone at my new job today. Anticipating a call at the same time, I don't answer with my typical "Zorak the Mantis" greeting. Keep in mind, as you are reading, that my employer currently sells no products or services.

Zorak: "Hello."
Obnoxious caller: "Do you accept credit cards?"
Zorak: "Who are you trying to reach?"
Obnoxious caller: "Do you accept credit cards?"
Zorak: "Who are you trying to reach?"
Obnoxious caller: "Do you accept credit cards?"
Zorak: "Who are you trying to reach?"
Obnoxious caller: "Name of Zorak's Employer."
Zorak: "Who is calling?"
Obnoxious caller: Sighs. "Iris. Do you accept credit cards?"
Zorak: "For what?"
Obnoxious caller. "Thank you." Hangs up.

Right. I'm really, really difficult because I want to know who is calling me, what for, and why they need to know if my employer accepts credit cards. Arrrrgh.
Can We Be Good Without God?
Looks like the MyWay TV grid has given up trying to describe Teletubbies shows.
Fish vs. sharks: A religious battle: "CAIRO, Egypt, Nov. 29 — First came the fish bumper stickers, imported from the United States and pasted on cars by members of Egypt’s Coptic minority as a symbol of their Christianity. Before long, some Muslims responded with their own bumper stickers: fish-hungry sharks."
Islam for Catholics - The Washington Times: Culture, etc.
Tammy Bruce of FrontPage magazine.com: reports: My good friend Marc Christian was Rock Hudson’s last partner. Marc, like most other Americans, is appalled at the reported portrayal of the President, not only because he believes it to be an untrue portrait, but because he knows.

Marc wrote a letter to CBS entertainment head Les Moonves making clear his disgust at the portrayal of the President, especially the assertion that Reagan was a cruel homophobe. While Marc did not write his letter for public consumption, I found it important and asked it I could share it with you. He graciously agreed.

Here is the education Marc Christian gave Les Moonves:

'The notion that President Reagan was a homophobe strikes me as silly beyond belief. Not only did he have several gay men on his staff when he was Governor of California, he called my lover, Rock Hudson when he was on his deathbed just weeks before he died of AIDS and wished him well and voiced his and Nancy's concern and prayers.

'…The Reagans had known Rock for years and knew he was gay (as did most in Hollywood). The point is Reagan could have ignored Rock's illness and didn't. He could have just issued a public statement concerning his 'official sorrow' but made a personal phone call instead.

'CBS used to be the network of class, now its the official arm of the Democrat party and its sources for information regarding truth below that of The National Enquirer. I bet President Reagan's phone call to Rock Hudson isn't in the screenplay or should I say smearplay, is it?'

Marc Christian.
Hollywood, CA
Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life - Religious Beliefs Underpin Opposition to Homosexuality
Yahoo! News - Blacks Object to Gay Marriage Comparison
Yahoo! News - Gay Issue Derails Catholic-Anglican Talks
Yahoo! News - Canada's View on Social Issues Is Opening Rifts With the U.S.: "Recently, while musing about his retirement plans, Prime Minister Jean Chrétien said he might just kick back and smoke some pot. 'I will have my money for my fine and a joint in the other hand,' he said with a smile."
Yahoo! News - Tune in to the new TV religion: TiVo
Yahoo! News - Build Your Own TiVo
Hindu militants burn effigy of Christ, assault nun, burn Bibles
School Hiring Practices in Urban Districts Discourage Best-Qualified Teachers from Working Where They Are Needed Most

Uggh...

The Bible’s Lost Stories: "In “The Da Vinci Code,” Brown suggests that she still had one more hold on Jesus—as his wife. That theory has been circulating for centuries. Some historians think it is possible because Jewish men of that era were almost always married, but many others dismiss that reasoning. Some argue that Jesus wasn’t conventional in any other sense, so why would he feel the need to be married? Others say that relegating her to the role of wife is belittling. “Let’s not continue the relentless denigration of Mary Magdalene by reducing her only importance to a sexual connection with Jesus,” says John Dominic Crossan, professor emeritus of religious studies at DePaul University in Chicago. “She’s not important because she was Mrs. Jesus. That’s like saying Hillary Rodham Clinton is only important because she’s married to Bill Clinton. Both women are important in their own right.”"

Good!

Anne Morse on Abercrombie and Fitch on National Review Online
Oh yeah. I need about 5 of these.
O.O. says, "Beauty is important, even when it's painful. That's why I'm binding your feet."