"Normally, I'd have to go to the bowling alley to meet a woman of your character." - Old Oligarch, in an imaginary conversation with No Doubt's Gwen Stefani

(minutes later)

Old Oligarch illustrates, via a brief dialogue, the challenges faced by the Old Testament patriarch Moses.
(O.O. as Moses:)"And there shall be no sexual union with crabs, or birds, or rocks!"
(O.O. as random Israelite:) "What about birds?"
(Moses:) "NO!"