Winners of the Worst Pop Song Lyrics Ever contest:

(Subtext: This contest was too hard to judge because there are so many bad, bad pop lyrics out there, but hey. Also, my work has been completely nuts lately, and work unfortunately comes before blogging.)

Winners

The Steve Miller Band's "Take the Money and Run" - submitted by Mike

Bon Jovi's "Never Say Goodbye" - submitted by Kairos

Wang Chung's "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" - submitted by The Cranky Professor, who comments: "from its hyperbolic beginning and casual claim that the words they were singing were creating reality to oh, the incoherent indistinction between 'all the world' 'Babylon' and 'love'. I dunno. It's bad."

Van Halen's "Love Walks In" - submitted by Kairos

Sweet's "Love is Like Oxygen" - submitted by Kairos

B.J. Thomas' "Hooked on a Feeling" - submitted by Don McLane

Smashmouth's "Allstar" - submitted by Joseph Montgomery

Ricky Martin's "She Bangs" - submitted by Joseph Montgomery, who comments: "I used to have the lyrics printed out and posted on my cubicle wall because they are fall-down hilarious. (The song is) notable not only for its lame and incomprehensible (I still don't know what it means) title, and not just for its hideous similies and twisted masochistic bent, but for having 7 writers take credit! If it were a poor attempt at English by latino Ricardo, I would understand, but there is just no excuse for this."


Songs I like, while guiltily admitting that the lyrics are bad

America's "A Horse with No Name" - submitted by Kathleen Wagner - (I give America a little credit for at least being creative, instead of just rhyming terribly just to make a verse fit the way some other nominees have)

Scandal's "The Warrior" - submitted by Susan B., who comments: "It deserves the title just for having a line like 'follow me stereo jungle child.'"

Poison's "Every Rose Has its Thorn" - submitted by Kairos

A-Ha's "Take On Me" - submitted by Joseph Montgomery

Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl" - submitted by Kairos

The Token's "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" - submitted by Kathryn Lively


Songs I haven't heard, but I'm sure they are bad if my reliable readers say so:

Donna Summer's "MacArthur Park" - submitted by Kathryn Lively

Hotlegs' "Neanderthal Man" - submitted by Don McLane

Bob Dylan's "The Ballad of Frankie Lee and Judas Priest" - submitted by Don McLane

Sigue Sigue Sputnik's "Love Missle F1-11" - submitted by Kathryn Lively

Westlife's "Seasons in the Sun" - submitted by Mike